The holidays are a time for family. For many people, that includes a visit to a parent or grandparent living in a nursing home or assisted living facility. Between festive decorations, holiday meals and catching up, these visits are full of warmth. They are also a valuable chance to see how your loved one is really doing.
Families who live out of town may only see their relatives a few times a year. Holiday visits offer a rare, in-person look at a loved one’s health, mood and care. Here is how to make the most of that time, while keeping an eye out for signs that something may need attention.
Take a Good Look at Your Loved One
Start with the person you came to see. Compared to your last visit, notice:
- Weight changes: Does your loved one look thinner or frailer?
- Hygiene: Are their hair, nails, teeth and clothing clean?
- Skin: Do you see bruises, cuts, rashes or sores?
- Mobility: Are they moving differently or using new equipment?
- Mood: Do they seem withdrawn, anxious, confused or fearful?
- Alertness: Do they seem unusually drowsy or overly sedated?
Some changes are part of aging or illness. Others may signal a problem with care. Trust your instincts if something seems off.
Check the Room and Surroundings
A resident’s living space can tell you a lot. Look for:
- Clean bedding and bathrooms
- Fresh water within reach
- Call buttons that are accessible and working
- Walkers, glasses and hearing aids where your loved one can reach them
- Signs of pests, strong odors or broken furniture
If you notice uneaten meals piling up or medications left sitting out, ask questions.
Talk and Listen
Holiday visits often involve a lot of activity, but try to set aside quiet time to talk. Ask open-ended questions like “How are the nurses treating you?” or “What is a typical day like here?”
Listen carefully to what your loved one says and how they say it. Some residents may hesitate to complain because they fear retaliation or do not want to worry their family. Others may have memory issues that make details hard to share. Watch for changes in behavior when certain staff enter the room.
Meet the Staff
The holidays are a good time to introduce yourself to nurses and aides, thank them for their work and ask questions. Consider asking:
- How has my loved one been eating and sleeping?
- Have there been any falls or health changes?
- Are there any changes to medications?
- When is the next care plan meeting?
Most staff genuinely care about residents, and building good relationships helps everyone. Their willingness to answer questions openly is also a good sign.
Watch for Staffing Clues
Holiday periods can be challenging for facilities. Staff take vacations, and some facilities run with fewer workers. Notice whether call lights are answered promptly, whether residents are left waiting for help and whether the facility seems calm or chaotic. Staffing shortages are one of the most common causes of neglect.
Common Signs of Neglect or Abuse
Be especially alert for:
- Bedsores or pressure injuries
- Unexplained bruises, fractures or injuries
- Rapid weight loss or signs of dehydration
- Frequent infections
- Sudden changes in behavior or personality
- Missing personal belongings or unusual financial activity
Financial exploitation can also happen during the holidays, when gifts and cash may be around. Keep an eye on your loved one’s accounts and personal items.
What to Do If Something Seems Wrong
If you notice concerns during your visit:
- Write down what you see, with dates and times.
- Take photographs of injuries or unsafe conditions, with your loved one’s permission.
- Speak with the director of nursing or administrator before you leave town.
- Request a care plan meeting, and ask to participate by phone if you live far away.
- Contact the New Mexico Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program for help.
- Report suspected abuse or neglect to Adult Protective Services or law enforcement.
If your loved one is in immediate danger, call 911.
Stay Connected After the Holidays
The weeks after a holiday visit matter too. Schedule regular phone or video calls, ask a local friend or relative to visit, and follow up on any concerns you raised with the facility. Consistent contact makes it easier to spot problems early.
When to Seek Legal Help
If your loved one has suffered serious harm, such as severe bedsores, fractures, infections or unexplained injuries, it may be time to talk with a nursing home abuse lawyer in Las Cruces. An attorney can review medical records and facility documents to determine whether the care provided met legal standards.
Make the Visit Count
Holiday visits are about love, laughter and time together. By paying close attention during those visits, families can also make sure their loved ones are safe, respected and receiving the care they deserve.